In the tinder box of conflicting views where the Bible, science, confusion and prejudice rub together, homosexuality can be a flammable spark.

When messengers to the Baptist State Convention (BSC) voted in November that membership in their Convention would not be open to churches that endorse or affirm homosexual behavior, reaction-mostly negative and accusatory-poured in immediately from all corners of the nation.

But in western North Carolina, before the membership rule changed, before any spotlights lit it, before BSC churches were accused of bigotry and hatefulness, a quiet, earnest ministry among homosexuals was growing at Mud Creek Baptist Church in Hendersonville.

Meleah Allard - who practiced a homosexual lifestyle for 10 years -- leads a ministry to help others transition from that lifestyle, and to equip churches to offer similar ministry.

It's far from easy.

A mother came to Allard who learned her 16-year-old son is gay. He's been singing in the church choir. The pastor wonders what to do.

"Should I let him keep singing in the choir?" the pastor asked. "Should I say he can't be a part of the church until he gets this straightened out?"

Allard cautioned the pastor to "be very careful about this decision," because its effect will dramatically influence the boy's perception of God, the church, Christians, trust and forgiveness.

"If you exclude him, he will likely embrace the gay lifestyle totally," Allard said. "And there are dark centers in the lifestyle. You'll hang around nothing but gay people and it gets darker and darker the closer to the center you get."

Trust is a deep chasm separating homosexuals from potential change. Revealing their secret has the potential to throw their lives upside down. Many pastors Allard talks to are not receptive because they don't believe there are any homosexuals in their church families.

She is trying to deliver a package of resources to every church in Buncombe and Carolina Associations so pastors are prepared when someone asks for help. Allard uses her visits to declare her availability to the church to give her testimony about God's power to deliver.

Children need affirmation

Allard is the daughter of a former pastor, a man she calls a "rageaholic." As she feared her father, she needed affection from her mother, a woman who "did not hug me or tell me she loved me."

"Children have a need to be affirmed by the female in their life, their mother," Allard said. "When you don't have that, you have a hole, a missing element. Satan will provide something to fill that hole.

"People don't choose to be homosexual. Good grief. You'd be an idiot, knowing what you're going to come up against, knowing the biases out there, the discrimination you're going to face. Men and women don't choose to be attracted to the same gender, but we do choose behaviors."

She said for 89 percent of those who struggle with homosexuality, their biological fathers were not present "either physically or emotionally."

A disconnect with their own gender leads men into homosexuality, she said. Dad is the most important factor in the healthy sexual development of children, both for sons and daughters. Dad shows by example that men are safe.

"If the No. 1 man in her life doesn't show a girl she is safe and beautiful, how can any other man do that?" Allard asked.

Allard, married for 12 years with three sons, said she no longer feels homosexual attractions, and knows "a lot of people who have successfully transitioned."

When Allard finally left her same-gender relationship, she hadn't gone to church in 10 years. She was totally dependent on her relationship; didn't even have a car. She joined the fellowship of Indian Rocks Baptist Church in Clearwater, FL, whose members packed her up, moved her into an apartment and "loved me to pieces," she said.

"I went to a class that cleared up my perception of God and helped me understand who He was."

People will only be attracted to places where they find a loving atmosphere.

Helping Organizations

The Southern Baptist Convention has an initiative called "The Way Out" that encourages homosexuals to change lifestyles. "Exodus" is the most widely known organization promoting that change, and works closely with James Dobson's Focus on the Family. "PFOX" (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays) is a group for parents and friends of homosexuals that seeks to start "ex-gay" clubs in schools.

"Forever Family" is the Mud Creek friends and family support group, in which Allard said, "We are trying to show there is a real family of God and it is loving and it is supportive."

"Cross Ministry" is a Wake Forest, NC based resource, led by Tim Wilkins-who, like Allard, lived for years in the homosexual lifestyle. He offers one-day events and other resources to help churches interested in learning and ministering to homosexuals.

When Mud Creek sponsored an exploratory conference, ten people made themselves known who had a child or friend in the homosexual lifestyle or who were struggling to come out of it. Staff members at Mud Creek make it easier to be open because staff members are transparent with their own personal struggles. They don't pretend to be perfect which sends the message "this church is a safe place," she said.

North Carolina Baptists sent a "mixed message, hard for homosexuals to understand" when it changed its membership articles in November, Allard said.

"The only way to combat that is balance, and even imbalance, providing way more ministry to homosexuals if we're going to have a policy gays see as pitting the church against them," she said.

At the same time, the church must recognize helping a homosexual out the lifestyle is not an easy process, in part because "Satan has spent years convincing these people they are gay." It is not a 12-step program, she said, but can take years.

As for Allard, she forgave her parents "a long time ago," for whatever they contributed to the confusion and rejection that she believes led to her years in the homosexual lifestyle. She knows her public position may cause them pain, but she is compelled to tell her story and offer a loving hand to help others leave the homosexual lifestyle behind.

ABHA [Saudi Arabia], 21 February 2007 — In a scene that many would describe as disgusting and contrary to the religious and cultural traditions of the Kingdom, sitting intimately in a corner of a classroom at a high school in Abha is Fawziya and Uhoud — two young female “lovers.”

The two girls speak romantically and exchange kisses in a relationship that is forbidden in Islam. Fawziya is in the final year of high school. She is engaged to a man and will be getting married in summer after graduation.

[...]
Fawziya and Uhoud’s affair is not an isolated one. There are other girls involved in similar romances.

[...]

Such relationships are strongly objected to, especially by students from religious backgrounds. Religious observant students refuse to accept that sort of behavior. When they see couples sitting intimately together they disturb them by talking to them, giving them positive advice and letting them know that such behavior is wrong.

[Yeah, I bet it's 'positive.']

An Asir Education Department source said that the ministry has not outlined punishment for students who are caught in such relationships and added that the problem is not a new one and that it exists in other countries as well.

[...]

...[A] social specialist in Abha: ...“Families do not pay enough attention to their daughters. Such girls need help and treatment. This is a growing problem that we are now seeing in our schools and colleges,” she said, adding that school administrators need to address the problem and speak to individuals involved. “If that doesn’t work, then they should be transferred to a specialist for treatment.”

Woman preacher Layla Mahran: ...“They are against Islam and considered to be sexually perverse. The relationship between a man and a woman is considered normal and I am talking about marriage here because that is part of human nature. The relationship between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is frowned upon by our religion and considered a big sin.”

Evangelical group in Denmark loses governmental funding while allegations of conversion counseling are being investigated. The Danish Evangelical group Agape has received governmental funding to preform sex education and crisis counseling, but after reports that a lesbian woman that had contact with the organization was advised to pursue a change in sexual orientation, funds have been frozen.

... After "conversion therapist" Richard Cohen's embarrassing, clownish appearance on The Daily Show demonstrating his techniques on how he frees men from homosexuality (the clip was yanked by YouTube, photos below from my post on it), Exodus International's Randy Thomas couldn't take it any more. He had to unload on Cohen for making the movement look bad.

"Richard is not the foremost of anything except making a spectacle of himself and completely misrepresenting the larger ex-gay movement. He is not a part of Exodus and apparently not willing to take our private feedback and accountability to heart.

"So, if he is willing to allow ex-gays to continue to be circus show fodder for those who mock our sincere beliefs, he deserves the public denouncement this post brings."

A sample of his "therapy" from a report on CNN, via Truth Wins Out.

You can see the hilarious CNN segment here.

"Richard Cohen does not represent me or thousands like me, who have moved beyond a life defined by being gay. Richard, stop doing these type of interviews and listen to us when we say that your therapeutic, coaching -- whatever -- approach is not above reproach as so obviously displayed every time you show up on television."

Over the past couple of days, The National Association for the Therapy of Homosexuals (NARTH), and Parents and Friends of Gays and Ex-Gays (PFOX), have quietly removed all traces of any affirmation of Richard Cohen. PFOX has removed all references to him entirely, while NARTH has left only historical events which included his name - all his articles are gone and his books no longer appear in their online bookstore.

Remember Zach, the 16-year-old whose MySpace blog revealed that he was about to be involuntarily committed to Love In Action’s youth live-in program “Refuge” in 2005? He was committed to a two-month stay in the residential program, and his plight spawned international outrage along with unprecedented protests in Memphis. It also inspired filmmaker Morgan Fox to begin filming the documentary, “This Is What Love In Action Looks Like,” set for release in January 2008.

This evening at the Ex-Gay Survivor Conference in Irvine, California, we screened short excerpts of several documentary films including Fox’s unfinished work. Just before Fox’s extended trailer was shown, we learned that he had to make a very quick last-minute change to the ending today. And when we saw that ending, the crowd erupted in both cheers and tears as we saw that Love In Action Director John Smid confirmed that the “Refuge” youth program has been “dissolved.”

Love In Action, the live-in program that became infamous in 2005 for subjecting a then-16-year-old teen-ager named Zach to involuntary live-in indoctrination for nearly two months, has discontinued its “Refuge” youth program.

The announcement was made tonight (June 30) at the Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference in Irvine, Calif. Filmmaker Morgan Jon Fox learned of the closure while contacting Love In Action’s director in connection with Fox’s upcoming movie, This Is What Love In Action Looks Like. Fox disclosed the news in a last-minute change to a previously scheduled preview of his movie at the conference.

This Is What Love In Action Looks Like premieres in January 2008.

Love in Action quietly closed the Refuge program. This was a nearly two-month long intensive ex-gay program for young people under the age of 18. Many of these young people attended against their will, forced by their parents who wanted to straighten out their kids.

This program is closed. But Love in Action is still in business.

...

Love in Action charges for their Freedom Family Intensive. I was FLOORED when I saw the cost of the four(4) day seminar. Four days--take a guess at how much that would cost? $400? Gosh that would be $100 per day. Nope, it costs more than that. $1000? Nope. Guess again.

According to Love in Action's web site (check while you can, they have had a habit of rewriting their site once folks blog about it), the cost of these four days under the supervision, care and ministry of the untrained Love in Action staff costs $2000 for parents. Should you bring your queer child along it costs $3000!

Good news! If you can't afford the fee, (and who can???), you can encourage your family and friends to give tax-deductible donation. Love in Action is a ministry after all.

The American Psychological Association is embarking on the first review of its 10-year-old policy on counseling gays and lesbians, a step that gay-rights activists hope will end with a denunciation of any attempt by therapists to change sexual orientation.

Such efforts - often called reparative therapy or conversion therapy - are considered futile and harmful by many gay-rights activists. Conservative groups defend the right to offer such treatment, and say people with their viewpoint have been excluded from the review panel.

A six-member task force set up by the APA has its first meeting beginning next Tuesday.

Already, scores of conservative religious leaders and counselors, representing such groups as the Southern Baptist Convention and Focus on the Family, have written a joint letter to the APA, expressing concern that the task force's proposals would not properly accommodate gays and lesbians whose religious beliefs condemn gay sex.

"We believe that psychologists should assist clients to develop lives that they value, even if that means they decline to identify as homosexual," said the letter, which requested a meeting between APA leaders and some of the signatories.

APA spokeswoman Rhea Farberman said a decision on when and how to reply to the letter had not yet been made.

The current APA policy, adopted in 1997, opposes any counseling that treats homosexuality as a mental illness, but does not explicitly denounce reparative therapy. The APA has decided to review the policy at a time when gay-rights groups are increasingly critical of such treatment and groups that support it.

and say people with their viewpoint have been excluded from the review panel

[The NGLTF guy] hoped the APA would declare that no young person could ever be deemed to have given informed consent, and thus no reparative therapy would be approved for minors.

I wonder how long an “ex-straight” camp would last, especially being run by all untrained and unlicensed people. Heck, how long would anyone be allowed to operate an unlicensed psychology practice? I’m willing to bet that anyone opening an office and practicing without a proper license would be shut down immediately. Why aren’t these places simply shut down because they are not qualified and practicing without a license? Oh wait, they’re only hurting gay people. I guess I just answered my own question.

I wonder how long an “ex-straight” camp would last, especially being run by all untrained and unlicensed people.