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Post subject: A silly jokes thread...
 Posted: Feb 28, 2007 - 01:12 PM
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Joined: Sep 06, 2006
Posts: 1195
Location: Valhalla Mountains, British Columbia, Canada
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(Doesn't have to be gay jokes... just funny.)
Q: How do you get 20 Canadians out of your swimming pool?
A: You say, "Excuse me, but could you all please get out of my pool?"
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"The dignity of an animal is measured by his capacity to revolt in the face of oppression." -- Mikhail Bakunin
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Post subject:
Posted: Mar 23, 2007 - 11:14 AM
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Joined: Sep 06, 2006
Posts: 1195
Location: Valhalla Mountains, British Columbia, Canada
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The following bit over at EM made me laff...
Quote:
The EM news forum is purdy blank today, which reminds me of this little exchange, cited by Anthony Burgess in 1985, between Evelyn Waugh (writing as a foreign correspondent in Abyssinia) and his editor:
Editor - WHY UNNEWS
Waugh - UNNEWS GOODNEWS
Editor- UNNEWS UNJOB
Waugh - UPSTICK JOB ASSWISE
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_________________
"The dignity of an animal is measured by his capacity to revolt in the face of oppression." -- Mikhail Bakunin
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Post subject:
Posted: May 04, 2007 - 01:13 PM
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Joined: Sep 06, 2006
Posts: 1195
Location: Valhalla Mountains, British Columbia, Canada
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Quote:
I just discovered a hilarious video on YouTube. Apparently monkeys on a Caribbean resort island developed a taste for alcohol from eating fermented fallen fruit. They now raid the drinks of people at resorts on those islands. The video can be found here.
Quote:
Elephants, gnus, ostriches, and baboons after eating partially fermented amuralla fruit in Africa:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_euCpewQs2c
A seriously loaded black bear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjmHj7jtjSg
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_________________
"The dignity of an animal is measured by his capacity to revolt in the face of oppression." -- Mikhail Bakunin
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Post subject:
Posted: May 23, 2007 - 04:54 PM
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Joined: Sep 06, 2006
Posts: 1195
Location: Valhalla Mountains, British Columbia, Canada
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From my e-mail inbox:
Quote:
The Ultimate Rejection Letter
Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen
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_________________
"The dignity of an animal is measured by his capacity to revolt in the face of oppression." -- Mikhail Bakunin
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Post subject:
Posted: May 31, 2007 - 10:41 PM
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Joined: Sep 06, 2006
Posts: 1195
Location: Valhalla Mountains, British Columbia, Canada
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GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America , well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India , very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France , gently aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain , With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia , lost some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia , very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet ... Off the beaten path, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge and true love dare visit there.
GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 78, a man is like Iran - ruled by a dick. |
_________________
"The dignity of an animal is measured by his capacity to revolt in the face of oppression." -- Mikhail Bakunin
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